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because I have spent my day watching Psych

flapper

"Gus," Shawn said, "I kinda slept with Lassie."

Gus immediately clapped his hands over his ears. "NO."

"Hey! This is important! Man up!"

"LA LA LA LA," Gus yelled. He tried walking away and bounced off the wall; he'd closed his eyes.

"I LET HIM PUT HIS DANGLE IN MY SECRET PLACE AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS," Shawn yelled, trying to pry Gus's hand away from his ear.

"HELL NO," Gus replied.

Shawn's neighbor banged on the wall. They both looked up. "LET ME SHARE WITH YOU," Shawn said, staring at the wall.

"BUT I'M SCARED. OF MY FEELINGS," Gus said.

"LET ME LOVE YOU," Shawn replied.

"OH SHAWN, SHAWN," Gus said, and jumped onto the couch. He and Shawn grabbed each other's arms and pogoed on the couch together, moaning and banging it against the wall, until they ran out of breath.

They collapsed on the couch together. "Seriously," Gus panted, "no details."

"God, no, I can barely stand it myself," Shawn said, pressing a hand against the stitch in his side. His neighbor was conspicuously silent.

"I didn't know you went that way."

"Oh. Yeah. Didn't want to weird you out," Shawn said.

Gus elbowed him. Shawn elbowed him back. Gus tackled him into the couch cushion. "He did you in the whatsit?" Gus asked.

"I know!" Shawn said.

"What the hell?" Gus asked.

"It feels better than you would think," Shawn said.

"Okay, that's enough."

"The weird part is that my dad likes him. That's just freaking wrong."

"Word," Gus said.

"I can't tell my dad about this," Shawn said.

"God no," Gus said.

"But I think he's going to know anyway."

"Probably," Gus said.

"My life sucks."

"But you're getting laid. Have a beer," Gus said.

"Word," Shawn said, and got a beer.


The end.

Comments

( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
special_trille
Jul. 15th, 2007 05:18 am (UTC)
HAHAHA. Yes, just. YES.
basingstoke
Jul. 15th, 2007 05:36 am (UTC)
:D

I initially did not think Gus was gay, but then I heard that he saw the Lost Boys 14 times. Even I have not seen Lost Boys 14 times. He's gayer than a sky blue picnic basket with ecru satin silverware pockets and a delightful woven ribbon trim.
teenygozer
Jul. 15th, 2007 05:54 am (UTC)
WITH LASSIE??! MY GOD THAT'S BESTIALITY! NOOOOOES!
basingstoke
Jul. 15th, 2007 05:56 am (UTC)
*snicker*
skalja
Mar. 9th, 2009 06:41 am (UTC)
HEY LOOK, AN ICON FOR THE OCCASION.

But seriously, though, I'm torn between loving this fic and hating Shawn Spencer because the phrase "his dangle in my secret place" makes me want to declare celibacy. Ewwwwww.
norwich36
Jul. 15th, 2007 06:05 am (UTC)
I think I just hurt myself from laughing.
basingstoke
Jul. 15th, 2007 06:07 am (UTC)
onoz!

*band-aid*
darthtall
Jul. 15th, 2007 06:19 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU. Heeheeheehee!

basingstoke
Jul. 15th, 2007 04:03 pm (UTC)
:D

That icon is AWESOME. Oh, Lassie. I just saw 2x1.
wpadmirer
Jul. 15th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
OMG, that's funny. (grin) And just wrong. (snicker)

WP
basingstoke
Jul. 15th, 2007 04:04 pm (UTC)
So very wrong. Lassiter and Shawn's dad go fishing together!
reginagiraffe
Jul. 15th, 2007 03:21 pm (UTC)
LOL!

Awesome!
basingstoke
Jul. 15th, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC)
hee, thanks!
theamusedone
Jul. 15th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
This was just wonderful! Thank you for writing it!
basingstoke
Jul. 15th, 2007 06:55 pm (UTC)
:D

These boys are so silly. I love them.
oxoniensis
Jul. 16th, 2007 01:24 am (UTC)
*dies laughing*

I'm with Gus on the no details though! *g*
perpet_fic
Jul. 16th, 2007 02:21 pm (UTC)
AWESOME!!

The fake sex may be the best sex ever, you know? I just love how they're so *them*. I'm gonna cuddle this for awhile.
(Deleted comment)
dlasta
Oct. 25th, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC)
Sweet baby jesus.
I would totally be evil and wrong if you did not continue.


:D

ps. I laughed so hard I cried.
journalkitten
Mar. 22nd, 2008 01:22 am (UTC)
Yeah, ok, so this is just under the wire of a year after you posted, but I just found it and "I LET HIM PUT HIS DANGLE IN MY SECRET PLACE AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS" is seriously the Best Line Ever.

Heeee!
gwynevere1
Apr. 23rd, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
Shawn and Gus having fake sex to annoy Shawn's neighbor is even more awesome than Shawn/Gus having real sex.
jasprerose
Jan. 21st, 2011 06:41 am (UTC)
Word :)
shadowcat15
Jan. 18th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
This is exactly how it would happen.
jackycomelately
Jan. 21st, 2009 09:33 pm (UTC)
Hilariously brilliant
I really think that it's your use of the word "pogoed" that brings this story to the level of the sublime. That's so so how Shawn would deal with having slept with Lassie. Awesome!

kickair8p
Mar. 9th, 2009 05:01 am (UTC)
The really scary thing is how completely in-character you managed to keep this. I can see it on-screen, easily.

~
kattahj
Mar. 9th, 2009 05:56 am (UTC)
:-) This was very funny.
harmless_one
Mar. 9th, 2009 08:04 am (UTC)
I'm so happy right now.

Okay, your mind is just a wonderful place. I can totally imagine them bouncing on the couch and making naughty noises to piss off the neighbor. Thanks for this!
krisherdown
Mar. 9th, 2009 06:43 pm (UTC)
Okay, that was awesome. Kinda random but the fake sex was very effective and I could see Gus really not wanting to know the details (jealous, perhaps?). Well done.
elistaire
Mar. 9th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC)
Here by way of crack_van....this was hilarious. The fake sex was perfect! Also, the yelling.
wizefics
Mar. 10th, 2009 04:05 am (UTC)
"My life sucks."

"But you're getting laid. Have a beer," Gus said.


BEST. RESPONSE. EVER!
ariadne83
Mar. 10th, 2009 09:31 am (UTC)
Ahahahaha. I'm going to have to go back and find the person that recced this, so I can thank them profusely.

"He did you in the whatsit?"

*dies* This is hilarious.
adafrog
Mar. 28th, 2009 05:09 am (UTC)
lolol Thanks.
daemonluna
Jun. 2nd, 2009 05:03 am (UTC)
Okay, this is just awesome! And totally the way Shawn and Gus would discuss it. Hee.
ivyadrena
Aug. 30th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
*gigglefit* This. Yes.
trascendenza
Dec. 13th, 2009 10:28 pm (UTC)
"I LET HIM PUT HIS DANGLE IN MY SECRET PLACE AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS," Shawn yelled, trying to pry Gus's hand away from his ear.

*wipes away tears of laughter*
basingstoke
Dec. 13th, 2009 11:34 pm (UTC)
:D

Dude, I just got all three seasons of Psych when they were on crazy sale. After the new year, when Yuletide madness is over? I will marathon.

And there will be fic. So much fic.

Possibly a Pushing Daisies crossover.
trascendenza
Dec. 13th, 2009 11:36 pm (UTC)
That sale was epic. I feel so properly enabled.

PUSHING DAISIES CROSSOVER, YESSSS. I also keep wanting Psych/Invisible Man, if just for the ridiculous amounts of banter that would ensue, and also the fact that Gus&Shawn and Bobby&Darien would probably get into some kind of "no, we're the better buddy cop team" competition.
fish_echo
Jun. 27th, 2010 05:11 am (UTC)
(Anonymous)
Mar. 13th, 2011 04:41 pm (UTC)
LOVED IT !!!
Captured the characters so perfectly.

You should have totally added one more line in at the end.
"They had beers."
The end. haha....thanks for this piece of AWESOME.

I always loved Psych but life keeps me so busy I never got a chance to -actually- watch it....like EVER. Finally I have all the episodes so far and I love it so much. Shawn x Lassie <33

I'm so late to this parade x_X...but I'm here!
( 39 comments — Leave a comment )

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